Friday, July 24, 2009

What to do about sloppy relative?

I am an artist. I have a semi-supportive close relative that loves to go to my shows, but wants to dress sloppy instead of formal. She does not care that this embarrasses me. I've hinted to her about the situation, but she does not care. She has nice clothing and nice hair, but she wears her hair undone and tacky, old clothing to the events and stands next to me during the presentations. What should I do or say next?

What to do about sloppy relative?

I don't think you can do much about it. She obviously isn't tuned into the same frequency as to others of the same venue.

While they all enjoy the same music the separation comes when come to dressing for the occasion.

I have a few of those in my family.

Some of them just don't believe in "dressing up"

While EVERYONE should comb their hair before leaving the house (and my relatives do)

(you could ask her if she was caught in a wind storm before entering the venue as you noticed hint, hint.....her hair was all over her head)

On the other hand, just how are you going to make them (her) dress up?

you can't.

she isn't into it.

just allow her to come and enjoy herself.

let others disparage her for her dress but not you...okay?

if she is a kind person and not harming anyone

just accept her as she is.

everyone has a quirky relative.

she's yours


What to do about sloppy relative?

If you can't accept her the way she is, don't invite her to to any more of your shows. Do you think a a gift certificate to a beauty salon would help? Check out

What to do about sloppy relative?

Why should this embarrass you. Is she not allow to be herself. Are you respecter of person; full of pride. Those that are there are there to see your works; how you are dressed should be all that matters.

What to do about sloppy relative?

The simplest way to circumvent a potential problem, is by asking her if she is comfortable with how she looks at that moment. If she says yes, then let her's you who may have the "problem".

What to do about sloppy relative?

the next time you have a show you could just forget to invite her. Or you could just tell her there is a dress code.

What to do about sloppy relative?

If she embarrasses you that much, don't invite her or even inform her of your shows.

What to do about sloppy relative?

You say semi-supportive... Does that mean she has given you money? Funded projects? Helped to promote or sell your work?

If so, let her dress however she wants. She's your eccentric relative, be proud of her! Crazy people are expected and even showcased in the art community. Jackson Pollock... Andy Warhol... Salvadore Dali... Van Gogh... I can't help thinking they would have been amused more than offended.

If she's just showing her support by coming to the show, and her careless attire is putting people off, then feel free to skip her invitation. If she says something, I would say "I'm sorry, it was a formal event and I didn't think it was your kind of thing, but I have a casual show coming up in..." That's a subtle hint that she doesn't take her wardrobe seriously enough.

Good Luck!

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